THE GODDAMN BLUE RIBBON

Finally, The Goddamn Blue Ribbon tape is here.

The Goddamn Blue Ribbon was the 536 Lenoir House's drunken party band, compromised of derek on vocals and guitar, austin on bass and backing vocals, and me on drums. it was influenced heavily by hickey, husker du, alcohol, weed, and just plain scuzziness. A typical GDBR show would go something like this: we'd get drunk as piss hours before the show, watch the other bands play, still drunk, watch everyone else get wasted, then by the time we played we were all shitfaced and so was a good majority of the people watching us, so everyone had fun. one show in particular was captured on video for posterity, and i've only seen it once, but a song into it someone knocks the camera on the side and you can't see shit, especially after someone punches the kitchen light out right at the beginning of Rod Stewart's timeless "Maggie May". Another show i remember being so drunk that i couldn't even see straight, much less play. people falling over my drum set, grabbing the cymbal stands and dancing with them while i played, drunken insanity. the last show at the lenoir house we played a drunken, acoustic set where all i did was play a snare with my hands and i couldn't make a fist for days. if you were present during the lenoir days and you have stories about the goddamn blue ribbon, please share them because we were probably too drunk to remember them.

So let's see...drunken, rowdy, hickey influenced punk rock that covers Rod Stewart AND Devo? what's not to love?

this post was a long time in the making, and again a big thanks goes to Neal, who once again definitely sealed the deal.

So download, start drinking, and listen to the long lost, never heard Goddamn Blue Ribbon 2003 Demo.

EDIT - 6/12/11: Yesterday, our good friend Austin left this world. It's a goddamn shame and i can't even begin to explain how i feel. You will be missed, my brother.

Blood Diner

Blood Diner was the band that eventually mutated into Ikkabod, but a lot of the songs on the Ikkabod "discography" were already Blood Diner songs. This is one 32 minute long mp3 of their last show on August 19th, 2000, at the infamous cabin in Snowflake, Virginia. It is loud, noisy, badly played and recorded, out of tune, yet punk as fuck for some reason i cannot describe. this recording sounds like L'arm trying to play Faith No More while drunk. And, um, L'arm didn't drink.

you have been warned.

First They Greet You, Then They Eat You!!

The Business Machines

The Business Machines are another punk band from the fertile hills of northeast Tennessee, they're good dudes and this demo is 4 tracks of awesome punk rock. members of the scams, jesus on vinyl, d.r.m., the john asscrofts, and horns of moses.

The Business Machines - Demo

Death Side - Wasted Dream

Here is the first lp from Death Side, legendary Japanese punks. this album is 18 tracks of pure hardcore fury. This album should be mandatory listening. if you like punk rock, and you've never heard this, you owe it to yourself to listen to it. members from this band went on to be in such luminaries as Paintbox, Forward, Judgement, and more. Guitarist Chelsea passed away in 2007, but this album (and a lot more that Death Side released) preserve their legacy for all times. Keep the Burning Spirit Burning!!

get it here: Death Side - Wasted Dream

They Live & Fowlwawahl - Live Split

here is a split live recording of 2 bands, They Live and Fowlwawahl. They Live is just what Assgasm called ourselves before we changed it to our more family friendly moniker. Fowlwawahl is brutal, black metal influenced dual guitar wizardry from Kentucky, and features members of Killer Panther. Like it says above, these 8 tracks were recorded live. This recording of Assgasm is actually our first recording, it's interesting to listen to and then compare to the last recording.
get it here: They Live & Fowlwawahl Live Split

The Scams - Mountain Crust Freakout EP

Dody was kind enough to give me this ep, which i am now kind enough to share with you. 4 songs from these now split up local punks.

The Scams - Mountain Crust Freakout EP

Are You Fucking Serious?

Are You Fucking Serious? was a hardcore band from Richmond, VA who i saw play in Asheville many years ago with Inepsy & Feces For Warpaint. I don't know anything about this band, other than that at one time they were either going to be or were called Death From Above , and that this cd is fucking punk rock. included are the lyric sheet/insert scans.

Are You Fucking Serious? - Demo

Assfactor 4 - Smoked Out

this is one of my favorite records ever. it should be one of yours too. punk rock played with urgency with throat blistering vocals and guitars that go from sprawling chaos to tight counter-rhythms (mr. mccheekbone and the title track stand out) and back again. too bad they weren't from tennessee, but they are from the south, and who says the south doesn't have excellent punk bands? whoever says that has clearly never listened to this.

get it here: Assfactor 4 - Smoked Out 7''

The 30th Post Unveiling: The Apocalyptic Urinal & Carmalita Split Tape.

Finally, after 10 years of obscurity and copies lost and found, here is the Apocalyptic Urinal and Carmalita split demo cassette.
A.U. was me and Patrick Scardo, who lived in Clintwood, VA. we wanted to start a band together and play fast, pissed off hardcore...so we set up a show and played it without ever practicing. we learned a hellnation song on the ride to the show and the rest of the show was just insanity. now keep in mind we had never practiced. we played the hellnation song first because we kinda knew it. before the show it was decided that on that song that i would play guitar, and patrick would drum and do vocals at the same time. we kick into the song, patrick starts screaming, and it was the highest pitched fucking maniacal shit i have ever heard that came from his mouth. it made me laugh, hard, while trying to play the song. we play the song, people applaud, and then we just did about 10 more minutes of 30 second "songs" and talked shit in between. someone told me it sounded like "a train full of girl scouts being raped while the train derailed" and that was pretty accurate. this was in january 1999. we played another show shortly thereafter, then we played a show the day our part of the split was recorded (unfortunately we didn't record the show because that would've been fucking hilarious), and then one more sporadic improv show a year or 2 later and that was it. the show that happened the day this was recorded was some girls birthday party at a public pool near clintwood, and we arrive, it's not yet evening and we were trashed. we talked shit to people and i seem to vaguely recall some rednecks harassing us at pizza hut later in the night.

i haven't talked to Patrick in a few years. he was in the great, now defunct Allergic To Bullshit (not that one, the other one) and was also in the Semen Demons with motherfuckin' Ernarchy, and now I hear he is a goat farmer somewhere in Virginia. I hope he gets on a computer and for the fuck of it types in "apocalyptic urinal" and this pops up. i miss you man. i hope life is treating you well.

anyways, this was recorded live in patrick's basement, on one of those hand-held tape recorders, and i'm gonna go ahead and not apologize for the sound quality.
Carmalita were a band from southeast Kentucky comprised of Derek Eagle, bad-ass Doug Reynolds, and old man Steve Smith. I don't know how many shows they played, but i do know of one where they played in some schools gymnasium and no one wanted to go anywhere near them because when they played it was all out violence. If I remember correctly their part of the split was recorded in a friend's garage on a karaoke machine. I will also go on record saying that their part of the split is some of my favorite punk rock EVER. i had this edited to different tracks as best as i could, but kept all the inbetween song banter and fuck-up's, like the "what the fuck?!!?" moment (listen and you'll know). this is fast, pissed off, funny, and they even do a superb cover of the Misfits' "Return Of The Fly". Every time i listen to this it makes me smile.

i think i personally made about 15-20 of these tapes. the original master tapes are LONG gone, and this tape was one of the ones i recorded and gave out that made its way back to me years ago. in the interim its been in floors, had shit spilled on it, got stuck in a tape deck once, and its so fucking lucky i didn't break it. Now here it is, in mp3 form, for you.

A BIG THANKS to Neal, who definitely sealed the deal on this. He put up with me pestering him for months to convert it for me, and he finally did and he kicked it's fucking ass. I even saw him type the word "fuck" for the first time ever. also, i will apologize for the tracks just saying "apocalyptic urinal - track 1" and so on. i knew the a.u. song names (except for the first improv track's name) but the carmalita track list is also in a landfill somewhere, and until the names of the songs are discovered none of the songs will be named.

also, i have an mp3 of the tape in its entirety and if you would like to hear it without track edits, as one 20 minute long mp3, let me know.

but for now, here it is. I'm pleased to bring you
the Apocalyptic Urinal and Carmalita Split Tape.

Black Metal Mega Post

Arkham are a French black metal band heavily influenced by Lovecraft and the Cthulhu Mythos, so that should tell you right there that i think they are fucking awesome. They've been together since 1994 and Metal Archives says they are still a band, but nothing's been released since 2004, and that was this 4 song EP, "Chapter III - The Madness From The Sea". awesome stuff that i totally recommend.

Arkham - "Chapter III - The Madness From The Sea"

Here's Lamentos Ancestrales,some raw fucking black metal from El Salvador. I don't know a damn thing about these guys, other than they must be influenced by later Mutiilation, which is fine by me..gracias to Death Metal Danny in El Salvador for introducing this band to me.
The Metal Archives has a page on them, but not much on it.

Lamentos Ancestrales - S/T (2006)

and last but not least, we have Spain's Uruk Hai. i know absolutely nothing about this band, i used to have this cd years ago and i ripped it and probably ended up selling it, but glad i kept a digital copy of it. this is fast, raw and evil black metal played at top speed and kult as fuck.

Uruk Hai - "In The Side Of Eternal Eclipse"



Satan commands you to leave a fucking comment!!!

soon:
the goddamn blue ribbon.

apocalyptic urinal.

carmalita.

tapes are being converted as you read this.

start drinking.

Humanicide - Dark Lord Mosh Attack CD

Here's Greensboro, North Carolina's Humanicide, a crust as fuck band featuring members of Blacken The Skies, P.C.Penis, and more. At one point in time Derek from Hadaka Matsuri was in this band but I'm pretty sure he's not on this cd...although he does get credited. Humanicide pretty much lived at the Cedar St. House in Greensboro, and many a chaotic show happened there. anyways, this isn't the best tagged post ever, i'll warn you now. there was no track listing printed with the cd, but there was a full insert which i've scanned to help you name the songs, if you so choose. i thought about doing it, but it's pretty fucking impossible.

Humanicide - Dark Lord Mosh Attack

Punchin' Judy - Regional Hardcore Legends.

You know, I've spent the past hour writing and re-writing this little introduction to a band that, if you live around here, should need no introduction. i tried to get my personal life caught up in telling about this band and realized i couldn't do that, because my personal life has nothing to do with this band, and vice-versa.

suffice to say, the first time i saw Punchin' Judy was one of the more violent local shows i can remember. actually, a lot of times i saw P.J. things seemed to get a little out of control. why was that? because, simply put, they were probably the best southern rock influenced new york hardcore band from bristol ever. they would start playing, they would be so loud, people would start slamming into each other and the walls...goddamn. they would play forever too, never letting up on any energy.
i saw them numerous times in kingsport and johnson city during '97-'99, and every time i almost got my ass stomped in a pit. at one point, during the first time i saw them, singer Jef Roberts asked the crowd to catch him when he jumped off the stage. when he jumped, his left foot, encased in size 12 steel-toed Doc Martens came crashing into the right side of my skull, almost blacking my eye and definantly hurting. i staggered but somehow kept going. later on i told him and we was very apologetic, and all i could say was "no problem!". Patrick, the bassist, worked at Back Door Records in Johnson City (which is sadly sadly missed) and was a font of information for all sorts of music. Rick, the guitarist, was an all around good guy who played fucking fierce and looked like he'd kick your ass at any time...the drummer, Scott, i never really talked to, but goddamn was he good.

Sadly, last year Jef was taken from us. He's left behind a regional music legacy that cannot be denied, and cannot be forgotten. Punchin' Judy, for a time, were the undisputed kings of Northeast Tennessee/Southwest Virginia Punk AND Metal..listen to these and you'll see why.

Punchin' Judy - "S/T" (1991?)

Punchin Judy - "Figure IV" CD (1998)

Punchin' Judy - "The Heel Sessions" E.P. (1998)

the picture above is from Punchin' Judy's Myspace page, which is full of good photos.

big thanks to my buddy Ben who ripped the "figure IV" cd at a whopping 320k! that one is a monster people, be warned. also thanks to Keenan, who lives all the way in Pittsburgh, for sending me copies of the s/t first album and the heel sessions ep, which was the first punchin' judy i ever owned. thanks for the help guys!

Monolith - Dawn

Finally, after years of knowing about this tape and hearing it while fucked up at friends house but never having a copy of it, i present to you the long lost Monolith tape. Monolith was like kingsport's answer to napalm death and morbid saint, if N.D. and M.S. were playing at some southern states wrestling event at the civic auditorium. Even though they never achieve N.D. like speed (exceept the last 11 second track), the riffs are very thrash metal and the sound is mean, tough, dark, and very metal. not much is known about this tape other than that it was recorded between '92-'94 somewhere on center street in kingsport...right up the road from me probably. sadly, there is no original cover art, but BIG thanks to Ben for ripping his tape copy of it. the cover included he also made because he's that much of a trooper. this is true appalachian metal. i hope you enjoy.

Monolith - Dawn

Aghast - 2006 EP

Aghast were a two piece brutal death metal band from Kingsport. they played live occasionally and released this 4 song e.p. on chaotic underworld, where it is still in print. if you like bands like Suffocation, Incantation, early Deicide, and Necrophagist, this is right up your alley. ultra brutality from the holston valley of dead bodies.

http://www.mediafire.com/?0m0tmn5qzmm

Next To Of Course America God I Love You

here's two songs from Johnson City hardcore band Next To Of Course America God I Love You. N.T.O.C.A.G.I.L.Y. existed for a brief time, made from members of past bands like Gettysburg and Ackro, toured with virginia's Lewistown, and recorded these 2 songs for a split tape with that band.

get it here: http://www.mediafire.com/?ykhmniuono2